He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
