I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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