The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
