need another drink. this is the easiest way
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
