btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
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