how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
