I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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