You work out of a Hotel?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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