He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
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