Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize