just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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