dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
