Already got asked if we're dating
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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