I wish I only lived at night.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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