If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
