It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
