I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
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