i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I checked into jail on foursquare
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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