is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
