There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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