i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
