She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
