i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
