Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
