Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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