before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Randomize
