Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I supernannyed him into submission
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