Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize