I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
