yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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