He is an equal opportunity slut.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
be right there i have to get my cape
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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