Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
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