I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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