im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
