These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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