I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
