Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize