I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
