I'm jealous of your bromance
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
