I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
