Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
