in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
last night I used snow as a chaser
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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