wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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