Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
