I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
