so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
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