this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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