Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
