So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
