you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
