Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
