Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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