Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
