I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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