You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize