My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
