Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Couch. On fire.
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