We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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