Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
