I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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