i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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