I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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