Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
