Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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