Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize