I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
