were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
people are starting to question the shark bite story
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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