I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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