Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
