My brain says no but my pants say off.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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