no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
