we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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