you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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