just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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