Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
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