I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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